I
HAVE NOTICED to my astonishment that there are still some old-fashioned women
who insist on being given a wedding band, or at least an engagement ring,
before they will embark on a cruise for two under sail on a small boat.
It
therefore behooves every male skipper to keep handy a medium-sized ring of some
metal resembling gold, fit for the wedding finger of the left hand of a female
exhibiting a case of pre-cruise scruples.
In
addition, the well-prepared skipper will keep handy the following script, which
is to be read aloud in the privacy of the saloon before the cruise starts:
“Now
hear this; now hear this. To all whom it may concern, let it be known that
under the powers invested in me by the Merchant Shipping Connubial Bliss Act,
as captain of a vessel engaged in peaceful commerce and flying the flag of the
United States of America, I do take this woman, Flossie Splendide, to be my
lawful wedded wife, with all the duties that implies, for just so long as this
voyage shall endure. I may now kiss the bride, etc.”
The
skipper should sign and date this script. It would be as well to make a copy
for the lady, too, in case you are boarded by the Coast Guard, so she can
demonstrate that everything is above-board. Once a lady has caught the
scruples, she needs all the paperwork she can get.
Today’s Thought
If a man wants to leave a
toothbrush at my house, he can damn well marry me.
— Michelle Triola Marvin.
(On winning a court case against common-law husband Lee Marvin.)
Tailpiece
"How’s
you love life been lately, Ethel?”
“Terrible.
Either I get a man who’s so slow I want to scream, or else a guy who’s so fast
I HAVE to.”
(Drop by every Monday,
Wednesday, Friday for another Mainly about Boats column.)
1 comment:
I believe it was the noted poet B. Knowles who said "If you like something you'd better put a ring on it". It remains unclear, however, to what extent this policy is recommended for limbs other than a finger or, indeed, non-human "somethings".
Anyway, she said it about 150 times in a row in her opus - I believe there were but 2 sentences in the whole work - so it is clear she felt it important information to pass on.
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