August 16, 2016

Beer today, gone tomorrow

IT MAY NOT have occurred to you, but when you place a boat in salt water she is on a highway that leads to every continent in the world. The road isn’t as obvious as a freeway, but it’s there all the same and waiting to be used.
Here are just a very few fascinating places the great sea highway leads to, and the most important things to look out for:
England: Villages like Loose Chippings, Cheatem Krooly, and Lesser Badmouth-in-the-Dell; fish-and-chips; and warm Newcastle Brown Ale.
Scotland: Haggis; bagpipes; men in skirts with hairy knees; and Orkney Blast.
Australia: Beach barbies; fearsome flies; crocodiles; and fine Foster Lager.
New Zealand: Sheep; Pardeys; and Steinlager.
South Africa: Wild animals dressed in green and gold, and apart from the national rugby team, other wild animals in game reserves; braaivleis; and cold Castle Lager.
Holland: Cheese and clogs; botters and boeiers; and Amstel Lager.
Germany: Sour krauts; happy Hamburgers; and Becks Beer.
Mexico: Refried beans; sombreros; and Dos Equis.
Canada: Rockies; Mounties; and Molson.
Today’s Thought
After nine days ... I’d gotten used to the horizon, to the orderly rhythm of the ship, and all of a sudden the world came flooding back. I found myself looking at Nova Scotia and thinking about my mortgage. —Sarah Ballard, Sports Illustrated, 1 Oct 84

Tailpiece Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder if you are
(Up above the footlights’ sheen)
Forty-nine or seventeen.
(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday for a new Mainly about Boats column.)


57 Degrees North said...

So here is an honest question I've always wanted to ask... What is it about beer, really? In essence you have a beverage that smells like a cat peed in the bilge and doesn't taste anywhere near as good as it smells. Yet people around the world wax nearly mystical about the stuff. It's a puzzler.

The oceans of the world are a highway, I just don't travel them for the beer. (Now bracing myself for restless seas...)

57 Degrees North said...

Hmmm, I expected some chaff over my comment, but apparently there are a lot more people who feel the way I do. Either that, or they are just too high minded to respond to my boorish needling...

Patrick Hay said...

If you stick to wine you will find the ocean highway leads to all the nicest places, leaving out all the less interesting destinations. Also you won't develop a beer belly so your trousers will still fasten at the waist when you return to your home port.