I SOMETIMES WONDER how many acts of
mutiny take place on small sailboats. How many times has a crewmember refused
to follow the orders of the skipper? And, dare I say it, how often has a wife
or girlfriend declined to do what her man has asked her to? Quite often, I
suspect.
The definition of mutiny, among
other things, is the refusal to obey the order of a legal authority such as a
superior officer. But it is not necessarily restricted to naval and military
forces. Mutiny applies to crews of merchant vessels, too, although such cases
are heard by a civil court instead of a court martial.
I would like to know, then, that if
I ask (order) my wife to varnish the cockpit coamings, or if I simply request
her to bring me another beer from the cool box, and if she just laughs and says,
“In your dreams, Captain Bligh,” is she guilty of mutiny?
I ask because this is a very serious
business. Aboard a boat, there can be only one boss. During the days of the
sailing navies, the penalty for mutiny was invariably hanging at the yardarm.
Now I don’t have a yardarm; well not exactly, although I suppose I could rig up
a spinnaker pole to serve the purpose.
In these enlightened days I suppose
it would be frowned upon to hang one’s crew from a spinnaker pole, and I would
guess that a case of mutiny would have to be handled by third parties in an
admiralty court. I would further suppose that the penalty would consist of a fine
and/or a number of years behind bars, rather than death by hanging.
What we all need to know is whether
the skipper of a sailboat qualifies under the law as a “legal authority,” whose
edicts must be carried out at all costs. And in order to know that, we first
have to know what constitutes a skipper, a legal master of a vessel. (Or
mistress.) It’s not necessarily the owner, we all know that, so if the skipper
has no papers to prove his legality, who is legally in charge? Can there be a mutiny, in fact, if the
skipper can’t legally prove he’s the skipper? (Or she, of course, he or she.)
I have been faced in the past with
what must be close to mutiny when my dear wife refused to sail across an ocean
with me unless I provided a door to the head compartment. Unfortunately, I had
no proof that I was the legal master of the yacht. I was, of course; I just
didn’t have the proof. So, rather than confront her before an admiralty court,
I bought a sheet of plywood and built her a loo door.
I don’t doubt that many similar acts
of mutiny have been dealt with in the same namby-pamby manner since we lost the
use of yardarms. I’m not saying that it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Just
pointing it out in case you hadn’t noticed. Just sayin’.
Today’s
Thought
The ship of democracy, which has weathered all storms, may sink through the mutiny of those on board.
-- Grover Cleveland
Tailpiece
“Why did your algebra teacher
confiscate your rubber-band pistol?”
"She said it was a weapon of math disruption."
"She said it was a weapon of math disruption."
