Dacron Dolly breakthrough

THE OTHER DAY someone asked me if I ever make anything up for this column. Well, being rather afraid of not going to heaven if I tell lies, I was forced to answer yes. But my defense was that it should be perfectly obvious when I make something up. It’s not like telling a sly, deliberate lie for some nefarious purpose. What I do is open and obvious and just for laughs.

“Give me an example.” she said. So I referred her to a column I wrote several years ago. I’d like you to read it now, and decide for yourself whether it’s obviously a spoof or not. Did it fool anybody who got more than half-way through? I think not, but you might like to make up your own mind:

Dacron Dolly in poly breakthrough

Christchurch (AP) — Sailors and sailmakers the world over were last night celebrating the achievement of New Zealand scientists in breeding a sheep that grows polyester “wool.”

Using cloned material from the famous Scottish sheep Dolly, genetic specialists at the University of Christchurch last year altered the DNA of a lamb embryo.

“We now have a sheep in polyester clothing,” said Dr. Brian Winchester, head of the university’s Experimental Genetics Department. He said the sheep had been named Dacron Dolly. “It’s a breakthrough we thought was possible, but we never expected success so quickly,” he added.

Dacron Dolly will be cloned and future flocks will be sheared to provide polyester material for Dacron ropes and sails. “We expect it to be about half the present cost of Dacron, maybe less,” said Dr. Winchester, himself an avid sailor in a country of sailors.

Dorothy Brown, head of publicity at the University of Christchurch, said Dacron Dolly’s coat would provide a filament that was lighter, softer and easier to sew than present-day polyester. “It’s also more resistant to stretch, so it will be ideal for yacht sails,” she said. “Textile engineers from all over have already been contacting us for samples, but full-scale production won’t begin for about a year.”

Ms. Brown pointed that Dacron would no longer have to be made from imported crude oil. “This is an infinitely renewable resource,” she said, “It’s about as green as you can get.”

One snag is that Dacron Dolly and her cloned family will be more difficult to shear. “Polyester blunts the clippers much quicker than wool — but we hope to solve that problem with titanium cutting edges in a few weeks.”

A representative of North Sails, one of the largest sailmakers in North America, arrived in Christchurch yesterday to collect a sample of Dolly poly.

“We are very excited at this development,” said Fred Borthwick, based in Newport, Rhode Island. “Sails are expensive, and cutting the price of the sailcloth in half will mean an explosion of business for sailmakers and better, less expensive sails for boaters.”

Today’s Thought The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance — the idea that anything is possible. —Ray Bradbury.

Tailpiece
Notices we noticed: On a plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

Storm management

I AM REMINDED very forcibly now and then that while men change, and manners change, and even boats change, the sea does not. I have often heard that the best way of riding out a gale at sea is to heave to, but this is what I read the other day in a 1946 edition of A  Manual for Small Yachts by R. D. Graham and J. E. H. Tew:  "We put forward the view, definitely, that the hove-to position is not the best one to withstand a storm."

When such knowledgeable and experienced sailors as these two make a statement like that, it behooves us to listen well.

"As the weather worsens you may get seriously alarmed by the behavior of the ship," they said. "Make some attempt to render the cockpit partially watertight by filling it with spare sails or cushions; get down the headsails and then the mainsail.  The ship will then lie broadside-on in the trough of the sea and will bob over the waves like a cork. You will probably be amazed at the safe and easy way in which she rides — but, and there is a substantial but, the tops of the waves will slop over the stern and the crests will break with some violence into the cockpit. It is not likely that they will break up things yet, but if the cockpit is not watertight a dangerous amount of water will get below.

"When you no longer dare to lie "a-hull," i.e. without any sail set, either because too much water is coming in aft, or because you fear that the breaking crest will stave in the hull, you must put her before it. Get out two warps, tie bundles of old rope, motor tires or cushions on the ends and pay out on each quarter. Tie up the clew of the foresail in a bunch and hoist the head a few feet. With the aid of the helm the ship will pay off and forge slowly ahead before the wind. Lash the helm amidships or as seems best. The ship will yaw six points on either side but will ride the seas with surprising security. A breaking crest will occasionally strike her, perhaps once or twice in an hour. Her stern offers less resistance than he side, and being struck end-on, she can recoil more easily.

"The slower you are moving through the water, the safer you will be.

"If you allow the ship to run too fast you will probably get a big sea breaking into the stern (pooped). When you feel the ship carried along with the waves and not quickly responsive to her helm, you should slow her down.

"We do not think that a keel yacht when lying a-hull is in any danger of being capsized."

Well, I must say that I have lain a-hull in ordinary gales and weathered them quite well (that is, without excesssive panic), but when the seas grow very large I believe there is indeed a danger of capsize, especially when your boat begins to be picked up and thrown bodily to leeward.

Then, as Graham and Tew said, it's time to run before it.  The trick is to know when to do it, not to leave it too late. The other trick is to arrange to have plenty of sea room.  It's not much use running before solid water if you're going to run into solid land.

Today's Thought

Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can find information upon it.

— Samuel Johnson

Tailpiece

"Dad, what's bigamy?"
"Well, son, it's when two rites make a wrong."

(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday for a new Mainly about Boats column.)

Dump that roach

ONE OF THE PEOPLE I taught to sail once asked: "Why do mainsails have battens when foresails don't?"

   I replied with the shocking truth. "To make more money for sailmakers," I said.

   The fact is, you don't need battens in a mainsail. You only need battens if the sail has a roach. So what's a roach? Well, if you draw an imaginary straight line from the masthead to the outer end of the boom, any sail area that protrudes aft of that line is a roach. And the problem with a roach is that it's floppy. It has to be kept in line with the rest of the mainsail by stiff battens of wood or plastic, otherwise it will do no work, flap in a breeze, and generally drive you crazy.
   But it's not necessary to have a roach. Your jib or genoa works perfectly well without a roach. It has a slight scoop in the opposite direction, as a matter of fact.  It's what's known as a hollow leech. So why don't mainsails have hollow leeches?  Well, some do, actually, and they're usually found on cruising boats. Racing boats have roaches because they want that extra sail area up high where the wind blows harder, and they benefit mostly from the roach when they're sailing off the wind.
   But there are good reasons why you shouldn't have a roach. It's not needed when you're beating because the great majority of the sail's lift then is generated at its leading edge, the strip next to the mast. And boats that generate weather helm on the beat will positively benefit from losing some sail area so far aft. They will not suffer at all from having no roach and no battens.
   But most sailmakers are driven by racing boats and racing rules, which also affect the design of cruising hulls, of course. So the great majority of coastal and deep-sea cruisers end up with battens in their mainsails simply because it's de rigeur for racers.
   Sailmakers confirm that battens add considerably to the maintenance costs of any sail. Short battens crease and bend the cloth just forward of the pocket, where persistent chafe and flexing wear out the sailcloth. Full-length battens, besides adding considerably to the cost of a mainsail, put considerable stress on the leech and luff ends of their pockets.
    It's easier to handle, stow, and bag a hollow-cut mainsail, and you don't have to worry about the roach clearing the backstay when you jibe.  Next time you're considering a new mainsail, give some serious thought to dumping the roach. Your sailmaker might have more difficulty making his Mercedes payment, but you won't be sorry.

Today's Thought

Cut your cloth, sir, according to your calling.
— Beaumont and Fletcher, The Beggar's Bush

Tailpiece

“Waiter, do you serve crabs here?”
“Sit down buddy, we serve anyone.”

(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday for a new Mainly about Boats column.)