December 19, 2010

The old Christmas dilemma

I’VE BEEN WONDERING if my wife would like a new anchor rope for Christmas. She got the old one quite dirty with mud last year when we anchored at Sucia Island. But of course nothing is straightforward about buying a Christmas present for your wife. There are always those nagging questions. Would she like traditional three-strand nylon, or would she prefer nylon double-braid? Which would be kinder on her hands? And — very important this — which would surprise and delight her more on Christmas morning?

Perhaps I could throw in a decent pair of canvas gloves, so she doesn’t add to the number of calluses she seems to be collecting, but if I do that I can only hope she reciprocates by buying something nice for the boat.

On the other hand, a really nice present for her would be a new GPS chart plotter, not one of those cheapo Chinese knock-offs, but a really deluxe Garmin color plotter with interfacing capabilities to link up with the radar and depth-sounder I think she might like for her next birthday. I can justify the cost. She is my darling and deserves nothing but the best.

I already have her stocking stuffer. It’s the cutest, top-of-the-range iridium oxide scraper, to help her get the old antifouling paint off, next time we haul. The expense was nothing. You’ve got to let your wife know how much you love her. And you want her to be cheerful in the sport she loves so much. I work hard at it, but it does give me pleasure to make her happy.

Today’s Thought
God loveth a cheerful giver.
--New Testament: II Corinthians, ix, 7

Boaters’ Rules of Thumb, #135
The old superstition is that a boat with too presumptuous a name will attract bad luck. To call a boat Sea Conqueror or Wind Tamer is to tempt the Fates. The gods like boat names to be humble, or at least non-confrontational. If you inherit a boat with a name that challenges the gods, change it — but first use Vigor’s famous interdenominational de-naming ceremony.

“Why do giraffes have such long necks?”
“Boy, but you ask some dumb questions. So they can eat from tall trees, of course.”
“Okay, so why do the trees have to be so tall?”
“So the giraffes won’t have to bend their necks, naturally.”

(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, for a new Mainly about Boats column.)


andrew from the BoatNameBlog said...

I definitely agree with your comments about boat names - no need antagonize the powerful gods of the sea unnecessarily.

By the way, can you share the link to your de/re-naming ceremony?

John Vigor said...

Couln't be easier Andrew. Click on Denaming in the column on the right of this page.


John V.

djd49 said...

You are the good husband I believe most women dream of being with John. Another suggestion, if you don't already have one, is a good anchor windlass to help her lift the chain off the bottom. My wife is going to love the bandsaw I bought her. They might not come right out and tell you what they want, but after being with them for so many years, we just know.