February 7, 2013

Gathering vital sailing statistics

A NEW STUDY being undertaken by the Department of Statistics of SoCal University involves interviews with veteran sailing couples who have crossed at least two oceans.  The Dean of the Department,  Dr. Earle Dentworth, said : ‘There is a lamentable lack of statistics regarding the voyages being accomplished these days by small yachts. We don’t even know for sure how many private yachts are sailing around the world at any one time, but this increasingly large demographic appears to number many thousands.  Interestingly the vast majority of them are citizens of the United States and Northern European countries. Very few of these cruisers originate in developing countries such as Russia, China, or Brazil.’

 Dr. Dentworth declined to reveal full details of the study plan, but he indicated that each cruise can be broken down into percentages. He said the study would try to establish the amount of time amateur sailors spend on a cruise while experiencing:

Ecstasy

Pleasure

Anxiety

Misery, and 

Terror

The study will also explore the percentage of time voyaging sailors spend in:

Waiting for weather to improve

Cursing the engine

Waiting for engine spares

Trying to clear Customs and Immigration

Searching for fuel

Filtering water and sludge from fuel

Searching for fresh produce

Searching for someone who speaks English

Searching for a mechanic

Searching for a mechanic who speaks English

Repairing the refrigerator

Patching the inflatable, and

Arguing about where to  go next

‘We hope the statistics will enable us to discover why people go cruising in the first place,’ Dr. Dentworth added. ‘It’s not an entirely reasonable thing to do, on the face of it. The motives are obscure. There are easier, cheaper, and less irritating ways to go around the world — but it’s possible that long-distance cruising appeals to people with regressive genes.’

Today’s Thought
I’d rather go by bus.
— Price Charles, aged six, when asked if he was excited about sailing to Tobruk on the royal yacht.

Tailpiece
How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?

Nobody knows; it hasn't happened yet.

(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday for a new Mainly about Boats column.)

4 comments:

Jack said...

John,

‘We hope the statistics will enable us to discover why people go cruising in the first place'......
Reason 1 : Get away from Statisticians

Be interesting if your followers could sum it up for them in one sentence though.....

Anonymous said...

Any more details about the study? Like how to sign up?

Aleria's Great Adventures said...

This is too funny. Had me in stitches. Is it serious? Is there really such a study? I couldn't find the guy.

John Vigor said...

Sorry, Aleria, but no. No a word of truth in it. All a figment of my imagination.

John V.