ONE OF MY REGULAR correspondents, Sam Psmythe (silent P, as in bath), found this interesting letter in the latest issue of his favorite boating magazine, 48° North, published in Seattle:
I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. There are the usual signs:
► The phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
► My wife has been going out with “the girls” a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says: “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”
I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think, deep down, I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
Around midnight I hid in the garage behind my boat so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment, crouching behind the boat, that I noticed some hairline cracks in my gelcoat, right where the hull meets the transom of the boat.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take the boat to the yard for repairs?
To which the editor of 48° North, Richard Hazelton, replied:
► What a heartbreaking thing to find out.
If the cracks are just in the gelcoat you can fix them yourself. But why chance it? Take it to the yard.
Boaters’ Rules of Thumb #1
The Golden Rule: No matter what the rules say, small boats give way to bigger boats.
Love is whatever you can still betray … Betrayal can only happen if you love.
— John le Carré, A Perfect Spy
“And what grounds do you have for divorce?”
“Oh, he’s so darned immature. Last night we went to a wife-swapping party and he traded me for a sheath knife and six bits of bubble gum”