It means new sails, new winches, new electronics, a new
engine, new everything you can imagine to make your boat happy and love you
back.
Love is Nature’s way of separating a yachtsman from his
money. Love is Nature’s way of making a sailor go bankrupt. By my reckoning,
too many of you are going to end up in debtor’s prison where no boats are
allowed.
But I can help you here. I can tell you how to fall out of love with your boat. It’s all to
do with remembering.
— Remember the time she wouldn’t tack, got into stays
and embarrassed you in front of the yacht club that wouldn’t accept you as a
member?
— Remember when the engine quit just as you were about
to pick up the mooring buoy and the cover was still on the mainsail and you hit
three boats sideways-on before you could get the anchor overboard?
— Remember when you got seasick and your mother-in-law
didn’t? Remember how she laughed?
— Remember when you came last in the Wednesday evening
race because your boat ran into a big submerged plastic bag and deliberately
wrapped it around the keel?
— Remember when the oil pipe split and spewed hot oil
all over the engine compartment?
— Remember when the alcohol stove flared up, removed
your eyebrows, and burned the galley curtains?
— Remember when your cousin with diarrhea blocked the
head with wodges of toilet paper?
Think on these things, my friend.
Remember the bad times. Ask yourself why you’re in love. Ask yourself if you
really should be. And stop buying
presents. Enough already. It’s only a boat.
Today’s
Thought
But
he who stems a stream with sand,
And
fetters flame with flaxen band,
Has
yet a harder task to prove —
By
firm resolve to conquer love!
— Scott, The Lady of the Lake
Tailpiece
I
believe it was Kierkegaard who once remarked that the trouble with life is that
it can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
Nevertheless, some people do live in
the past and they tell me it has one great advantage — it’s a lot cheaper.
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