THE COMING OF SPRING in the
northern hemisphere ushers in a sense of renewal, a sense of refreshment and
commitment to improvement. Spring always makes me want to be a better person
than I was, which, admittedly is not difficult. This new sailing season I shall,
once again, attempt to follow the Ten Commandments for Sailboat Owners:
1. Thou shalt not lie about
the size of the waves, nor yet of the speed of the wind which hath assailed
thee.
2. Thou shalt not covet thy
neighbor’s gorgeous Hinckley nor his adorable wife.
3. Thou shalt not curse the
weather forecaster unless severely provoked.
4. Thou shalt not pour scorn
upon the Coast Guard boarding party, yea even though thine potty be legal.
5. Thou shalt slow down both
in the marina and the anchorage; neither shall thine junior offspring run amok
in the outboard dinghy.
6. Thou shalt not stamp thine
foot, nor beat thine breast, nor rent the air with thine fists when thou
receivest thy bill for engine repairs, for it frighteneth the children
7. Thou shalt not laugh
openly at thine seasick mother-in-law.
8. Thou shalt not neglect to
switch on the cooling water before starting the engine and blame it upon thine
spouse.
9. Thou shalt not lie about
when last thou changed the engine oil.
10. Thou shalt honor thine
foredeck crew, and refrain from assailing them with raiséd voice, for they are
the salt of the earth.
And one more for the
helluvit:
11. Thou shall not allow
thine halyards to smite thine mast, lest it arouse sleeplessness and bitterness
among thy neighbors.
Today’s Thought
We must do the thing we
must
Before the thing we may;
We are unfit for any trust
Till we can and do obey.
—
George Macdonald, Willie’s Question
Tailpiece
“What happened to your ear?”
“Well, I was ironing my shirt when the
phone rang and I accidentally put the iron to my ear.”
“Bummer. And what happened to the other
ear?”
“Well, I had to call 911, didn’t I?”
(Drop by every Monday,
Wednesday, Friday for a new Mainly about Boats column.)
2 comments:
Wave height is no lie! It's a simple fact they gain 3-6inches every year since they were encountered. If only you had seen some of those monsters I tacked 20 years ago !
Edward, when you relate the size of the waves you encountered, it's not really lying. It is, as Mr. Gilbert said, merely corroborative detail, intended to add verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.
John V.
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