Lake Wogglebone race results

HEREWITH AN EXCERPT from the latest issue of the Walnut Street Gazeout (should be Gazette):

From Our Own Correspondent

Results of the weekly race held at Lake Wogglebone under the auspices of the New Egalitarian Yacht Club (LLC).

Eau Class, One-Design, 16-foot centerboard sloops:

Summary:

Wind: Southwest Force 7.

Sea state: Choppy.

Weather: Low cloud, rain showers.

Despite inclement weather, 10 boats arrived at the start line. Racing was postponed 30 minutes while the Chairman of the Race Committee drove to the gas station to get fuel for the Committee Boat’s outboard.

Shortly after the five-minute gun, the Committee Boat  commenced to drag anchor, allowing Teaujam, at the back of the fleet, to start first on port tack. Teaujam’s attempt to cross ahead of the fleet on port failed, however,  because her crew got her finger jammed in the centerboard case with the board  in the up position.

In attempting to avoid Teaujam’s sideways slide, Beauzeau and Dumbeau went about without warning, causing four boats to their leeward to capsize directly in front of two others who struck them and capsized themselves.

While the Committee/Rescue Boat coped valiantly with the rapidly deteriorating situation, Teaujam’s skipper was able to jump on the centerboard and force it down, despite his crew’s screams. With four others close behind, Teaujam rounded the weather mark first.

Unfortunately, in all the confusion she left it to starboard instead of to port. After realizing his mistake, her skipper jibed, hardened up for the beat back, and collided with two of his opponents. The remaining two, in attempting to avoid them, accidentally jibed and capsized.

As, once again, there were no finishers, the committee decided the race on the order of boats that managed to arrive at the first mark.

Five protests against the Race Committee for starting the race in unsuitable conditions were withdrawn because the Chairman of the Race Committee threatened to resign if there was any more criticism.

Results:

1.  Teaujam

2.  Beauzeau

3.  Dumbeau

4.  Neau hableau inglés

5.  Sleaupeauk

Stop Press: Teaujam’s crew has been treated at the Lake Wogglebone Emergency Clinic for an injured small finger. Very few stitches were required. In any case, her skipper has apologized fulsomely. He is now looking for a new crew.

Today’s Thought

Success in yacht racing depends so much upon coolness, self-reliance, and quickness of apprehension.

— Tyrrel E. Biddle

Tailpiece

“Boy, she looks as if she was made for that coat.”

“Yeah, but I still figure she could have held out for a mink.”

(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday for a new Mainly about Boats column.)