IT STRUCK ME RECENTLY that we
sometimes go too far with this business of political correctness. I mean, this
business of shouting at the crew. It has somehow become politically incorrect
to shout at one’s crewmembers, no matter how imbecilic their actions, no matter
how little attention they pay to their duties. No matter, in other words, how
much they deserve it.
Surely it is not incorrect to flay
their skins with words, rather than the cat-o’-nine-tails that would have been
used in the old days? Surely there is too much whining from the lower decks
about the cruelty of skippers and mates? Have they forgotten about sticks and
stones? Have they forgotten that words can never hurt you?
The author Mark Twain, who worked on
river boats, knew a thing or two about cursing the crew when they deserved it.
Here’s what he had to say about it:
“If the landsman should wish the
gang-plank moved a foot farther forward, he would probably say: ‘James, or
William, one of you push that plank forward, please.’ But put the mate in his
place and he would roar out:
“Here now, start that gang-plank
for’ard! Lively, now! What’re you
about? Snatch it! Snatch it! There!
There! Aft again! Don’t you hear me?
Dash it to dash! Are you going to sleep
over it? Vast heaving! Vast heaving,
I tell you! Going to heave it clear astern? WHERE are you going with that
barrel! For’ard with it ’fore I make you swallow it, you dash-dash-dash-dashed split between a tired mud-turtle
and a crippled hearse-horse!”
Of course, Mr. Twain wasn’t able to
print the real language the mate used instead of dashes. Mates and skippers
usually have much on their minds. They bear grave responsibilities for the
safety of the ship and the people on board. A little shouting in the right
place at the right time helps them to relax and concentrate on their duties.
I think it’s important for crew to
understand this, and not to take verbal reprimands too personally. This is
especially important in the case of a male skipper who might on the odd
occasion, the very odd occasion, direct a harsh word or two at his wife or girl
friend in the heat of the moment. He is not being politically incorrect. He’s
just mad at you for doing something specially dumb. I mean, even dumber than
usual. But don’t worry. This, too, shall pass.
Today’s
Thought
In
certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances,
profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
— Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar
Tailpiece
“Do you plead guilty to shooting
your wife with a bow and arrow?”
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“Why did you do it?”
“I didn’t want to wake the kids,
Your Honor.”
(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday for a
new Mainly about Boats column.)
2 comments:
There are two types of people I never listen to: The politically correct and the anti politically correct ranters - neither of them are worth listening to.
In my humble opinion giving a command or instruction in a firm clear voice is not an example of political correctness. In your example a fairly simple instruction asked politely took only about ten words - Mark Twains rant took a whole paragraph of incoherent rambling.
I have been sailing for nearly 50 years both racing and cruising, I have never had to shout and yell at crew members - I have observed that skippers who do yell don't win races, make cruising unpleasant, have crews who don't come back and are actually on an interpersonal level just complete fucking wankers.
Alden, Alden, the kids, the kids! Do watch your language, my dear chap. Valid as your comments may be, they are not for youthful ears. Nevertheless, I agree with you, and in my experience most skippers who scream at their crews are actually WAFIs. (Wind-Assisted F ...ing Idiots).
Cheers,
John V.
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