November 17, 2015

Where's the promised paradise?

GLOBAL WARMING can’t be all that bad, can it? Can you imagine what Puget Sound, the San Juans, and the Canadian Gulf Islands would be like if we suddenly inherited the climate now enjoyed by Southern California? Sunshine, warm winds, and warm seas are the only ingredients missing from this paradise for cruising boaters.

A little global warming around here would transform our lives. Boating people from all over the world would flock to our palm-fringed shores, white beaches, and warm turquoise water.

Women would be dressing in skimpy sun dresses and displaying those long tanned legs so beloved in California,  and I’d be able to trade in my fur-lined underpants for snazzy new Hawaiian bathing drawers.

The yacht charter business would boom beyond belief, creating jobs and prosperity that would surge right through our economy. Western Washington’s families would flourish in a brand-new American dream. The color would return to children’s faces. Their little bellies would be full, and their happy laughter would become a hallmark of the new, beloved global warming. Tourist dollars would overflow our coffers, and no longer would our poor State Governor have to sob his eyes out over drastic cuts in essential services.

So c’mon you guys, pony up. You promised us global warming. All we’ve got so far is gale-force winds and buckets of freezing rain. Where the hell is global warming?

Today’s Thought
Global warming — at least the modern nightmare vision — is a myth. I am sure of it and so are a growing number of scientists. But what is really worrying is that the world's politicians and policy makers are not.
— Professor David Bellamy, environmentalist

Tailpiece
Don’t worry if your job is small
And your successes few . . .                                        
Remember that the mighty oak
Was once a nut like you.
(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, for a new Mainly about Boats column.)

5 comments:

eric17 said...

Oh yes, you are right!!!
Glaciers and polar ice are not melting, ocean temperature does not change, 2015 won't be the hottest year ever, after 2014, 2013, 2012, etc etc
Oh, I nearly forgot : Donald Trump & Sarah Palin are the more intelligent people in the world...

John Vigor said...

Oh, Eric -- Donald and Sarah! My favorites. How did you know?

John V.

Mike K said...

Probably not the forum, but since you raised the topic:
Global temperatures have not risen measurably in around 17 years. All the UN models claimed it would. Total Antarctic ice has grown. Satellite imagery suggests there has been a 14% increase in earth's vegetation over the last few decades due to increased CO2. At 280ppm, CO2 concentrations were close to the minimum needed for plants to grow and were tracking down. Perhaps by increasing CO2 levels we did everyone a favour? Why is the UN attempting to railroad the world into accepting 'science' that is at best highly dubious? Could it have anything to do with enabling global governance?

Anonymous said...

I need to post this anonymously for fear of the repercussions. Yes. Global Warming is a conspiracy, a hoax. I'm on the inside, I have been to the meetings. If you need more explanation or evidence than that, you are a fool.

Millions of scientists have been paid off to put their reputations behind it. That part was easy - mostly it involved very little money - just promises of sex with beautiful women. We didn't have to bring women. We just told the male scientists there was a pretty female just outside the door who was going to come in to have sex. Then we clarified we meant with them. These geeks got so nervous they couldn't talk straight, and begged us to NOT bring the girl in. They would do anything to not be faced with a pretty girl. Well, we said, there is this funny joke we've got going about a climate change... they were only too glad to sign off on it.

Of course this approach didn't work with the heterosexual female scientists, but we found another way. In a word: shoes.

OK, I suppose you might judge my comments sexist, bigoted or worse, but I am just doing what we all do: tell a story and bend the world to fit my existing, simplified view of it.

And frankly it going to take more than a million qualified scientists to change my belief about anything, especially if it is distressing or might require me to change. Except my underwear, I change that. Let me tell you washing the fur is no trivial matter. cheers

Eric said...

Global warming/climate change is a scientific fact. Anthropomorphic global warming/climate change is created religion. Of course the climate is changing, just as it always has. I'm no expert, but it doesn't take 7 years of college to know when it is sunny it is warmer than when it is cloudy, or dark. Clouds reflect heat and trap it at the same time, shadows under trees are cooler than in the sun. The sun is cooling and no amount of transparent gas in our atmosphere is going to change what the sun is doing, even if it has gone up from .00028 to .00040.
It's the Sun (stupid).
Oh and John V. I got your back with Trump and Palin, I could throw Cruz in there at either place.